spirits of yule

A few nights ago my husband and I attended a local Celtic Christmas dinner and concert. It was amazing, the food was good and the music was awesome. Michael Mullen from Tempest played with Pog Mo Thoin and they did a bang up job. The best part? The only did two Christmas songs (well 3 if you count greensleves) ok so this isn’t a review of a concert….well not really. Right near the end they did two covers (remakes?) done in bluegrass style. One of Billie Holidays” Summertime” and one of Pink Floyd’s “wish you were here “ and surprisingly they were amazing covers. So good in fact they brought tears to my eyes. Ok so it wasn’t the music that made me cry but the memories. You see my Dad who is in his 80’s and in a nursing home 3 states away used to sing “summertime” to me as a lullaby. Billie Holliday was a favorite artist of his. So every time I hear her or that song it reminds of my dad….who is so far away and in such poor health. The other song “wish you were here” along with the sentiment reminds me of my dear sister who is even further away. She of course being a true fan of Pink Floyd and introduced me to them when I was 13.

The experience however was a good reminder of what Yule is all about. Family, and the bonds that bring us together. In the Heathen tradition yule is 12 days long and a few of the days are devoted to family and ancestral worship. So in a way for me it felt like my ancestors were trying to say “even though you are so far away from your loved ones, they are here with you right in your heart”…just as I am theirs and just as our ancestors are in all of ours. I think this is the most important thing to remember this time of year. I know its old and cliché but it is true the gifts we get and give this time of year are not what the holiday is all about. The gifts are just a symbol of the bonds of family and friendship, they are not the bond itself.

So remember that this year as you gather with your loved ones (or not) over a hot cup of Wassail or as you pass around that horn of Mead. Remember that Love for you fellow kinsmen (both by blood and by valor) is truly what this holiday season is all about.

Happy Yule to you all!

(How) to celebrate?

Growing up, Halloween was my favorite holiday. Perhaps because my mother hated it, but mostly there was something about the holiday that spoke to me. I remember anxiously awaiting all the spooky specials on TV. Like ”Disney’s Halloween treat” or “The Halloween that almost wasn’t”. I would start planning my costumes early (like late August/ early September) and by October first I would be down at the library checking out ever book on the subject. From arts and crafts, to “scary story’s”, to jokes and anything else I could get my hands on if my small town library carried it I read it, cover to cover at least twice by mid-October every year. And the icing on the cake was of course the big day its self. Not only the going to school in costume, and watching some movie( cause no kid can sit through a full day on Halloween) and the trick or treating, but that night at the elementary school they always had a huge carnival.  This would be full of games and contests, lots of food and a haunted house everything you could want to make the day exciting. The only problem was after that night, it was over. Somehow on November first, everyone seemed to go back to normal as if the Halloween festivities hadn’t happened at all.

As I grew, so did my love for October 31^st. although my perception of the night has changed many times over the years. In high school it became a night to go out and party with friends. It was odd at first watching this once playful night turn a little dark and mysterious.  But then it became even more exciting for me for it was about this time in my life I discovered my Wiccan faith. And so Halloween was sidestepped for Samhain, an ancient Celtic festival marking the end of summer and the beginning of winter, which in all honesty is the origin of modern Halloween to begin with.  Of course the two holidays look nothing alike today. Halloween being a night of mischief and costumes and horror movie marathons, while Samhain is a night of remembrance for the beloved dead, at least in any wiccan circle I associated with.

Of course now I have walked away from most of my Wiccan practices in search of the reconstructed faith of my ancestors and find some new quandaries. In the Nordic path there is no Samhain, no holy tide on Oct 31^st. after all it is purely a Celtic night. Ok maybe Halloween is something very American these days but you get my drift.  So here I sit looking at this holiday from four different directions:

1-the Halloween of my youth, full of fun and adventure with just the right amount of creepiness.

2- the Wiccan Samhain that I have walked away from but holds a connection to honoring my ancestors (something big on my current path)

3- the Celtic Samhain that seems to be more of a new year’s celebration

4- or the Nordic…which is nonexistent.

In the meantime as I work my down this new path, I’m re-exploring other traditions and trying to re-invent the wheel on my own a little. I have a stack of craft magazines and books full of all sorts of wonderful nontraditional decorating ideas. My husband and I have started our own tradition of decorating a Halloween tree (a fake Christmas tree re purposed for this holiday) and have had much fun scouring thrift stores for decorations.  And along the base in place of presents we have a bunch of fake pumpkins carved up as jack-o-lanterns. Because after all this is the most wonderful time of the year.

not wiccan

Ok so I admit it I did start down this path as a Wiccan. In retrospect though, in the early 90’s in rural Idaho, I didn’t have many other choices. And while it worked well for me for nearly two decades, in the last few years I started exploring other options. Why? Well simply I needed something else. While I don’t see anything inherently wrong with Wicca and I do still think it is a valid religion for the many that it works well for, it just doesn’t work for me any longer.

So then what am I? Well at the moment, I’m not sure. I’m somewhere between Heathen (Nordic/Germanic Reconstructionist paganism) and Celtic Reconstructionist (also called CR as there isn’t a big word used for it yet). What both of these movements are doing is trying to re-create the pre-Christian religious practices of their ancestors (and I have ancestors from both cultures).

Well isn’t that Wicca? Um no, Wicca is a modern religion popularized by Gerald Gardner in the 1950’s. And while there is debate over whether or not Gardner’s work was based on an older system (most people now opting for the belief he made the whole thing up) but it now a very eclectic religion that borrows heavily from ceremonial lodges (the golden dawn, O.T.O., freemasons, etc.)as well as the eastern philosophies of Buddhism and Hinduism. Again not that there is anything wrong with this, but it is not what was practiced in the world of the ancient Celtic or Germanic peoples.

Another big difference between the two paths is that Wicca is pantheistic (all gods are one god and all that) while those of us on the Reconstructionist path are polytheistic (we believe in the existence of multiple gods who are wholly independent of one another). Where Wiccans like to work with archetypes like “Maiden, Mother, and Crone”; “The Horned God”; or “The Great Mother” (or “Father”)

Next, looking at ritual work or religious observances, we find many other differences. Wiccans cast circle, invoke the elements, and evoke the god forms and all that big show of ritual work. In CR or Heathenry it is simpler. Once a space is sacred it is sacred (unless desecrated) all that needs be done is give an offering of thanks, say a prayer or two and maybe ask for help or guidance. Magic is normally not done in a ritual context either (unlike most Wiccan groups who feel that rituals are mostly about magic’k’)

Of course I understand I’m treading a grey line as I try to blend between the CR and Heathen faiths, but then I am new to both and maybe one will win out over the other.  But I doubt it. For me I resonate heavily to the culture of the Celtic people, especially the Highland Clansmen of Scotland. While I feel closer to the Gods of the Nordic people save for Brigid, Llugh, Cernuous, and the Cailleach (who are all very Celtic). But many of the Highlanders have mixed descent of Nordic/Celtic ancestry and some even claim Pictish. So who knows, maybe I am on to something eh?

In addition to my Scottish identity, my Husband spent two years living in Ireland before we met and his stories and interest have blended with mine over time (of course I do have Irish ancestors as well as Scottish) so this with a strong Welch ancestry for both of us has created a kind of Pan-Celtic Identity for both of us. Then over the last year I have focused on my genealogy and come to find a very Germanic heritage as well, with Germany, Denmark, and Switzerland heavy in my family tree. So now I am exploring those cultural identities as well.  

What this means for me is I have a lot of homework in the future (never fear, I will share much of that with you) and lots of experimentation as I try to find new roots for my spiritual identity.  But for now I am content to having shrines to the various Gods I pray to, as well as to my ancestors and the land spirits around me. Lots of prayer and meditation will accompany my studies as will lots of Celtic music (bring on the fiddle and bag pipes!!).  

remembering why i do this.

A while back I found a kilt at a thrift store for around $30. Beyond that it was a Stewart tartan (I'm a Stewart though my mother) and it actually fit....well mostly. OK so it was a bit long, but that I knew could be fixed with a little hemming. I mean 30 bucks for a kilt?? um yes please! So I snatched it up, and took it home.

Alright, I admit it, I procrastinate way too much. I think this kilt sat up in my closet for about 6 months or so i until I finally decided to take the plunge and fix it. And then the fun began for lo and behold it wasn't a kilt, it was a women's kilted skirt. So here's a quick lesson on kilts. Officially there is no such thing as a women's kilt. However in our modern world some women have taken to believing that the pleated tartan skirt is the same thing as a women's kilt. So whats the difference? For one thing they are a bit longer then a traditional kilt ( I had to hem about six inches of the one i got). Second they open on the left side rather then the right. and third, the pleats are much more shallow. This meant  I had to switch the buckles out for the other side of my new "kilt".

So off to the local fabric store I go. My first annoyance was that it took me about 4 stops to find anything closely resembling the strap and buckles on the kilt. My bigger annoyance though was one of the employees in one of the stores, after I showed her what I was looking for and why, she looked at me with a dumb look and asked "well aren't the highland games over for the year?" Yeah, she actually asked me that. Not only was I appalled from a customer service stand point (what difference dose it make why i want to buy something or make something??) but here is a prime example of why I am doing the cultural revival work. So many people around think that wearing a kilt is just a cute thing done as part of a "silly hobby" or something done just for fun at games or as part of a Saint Patrick Days celebration. I know, the way some people think surprises me sometimes.

Why then do I think its so important to wear a kilt? It's part of my heritage. It's a part of my cultural identity. its a symbol of who I really am. Stop and think for a minuet how many people from other cultures continue to embrace the clothing and symbols of their people? quite a few I'd dare to wager. So then why should we not also embrace our own?

After all, that's why I got involved into the reconstruction process. I felt a total disconnect to my heritage. sure I'm an American and couldn't be prouder of that, but I'm so much more then that. Sadly I think that there has been so much pressure in this country (and others as well) to conform to the melting pot concept and our own identity's get lost in the mix. Now don't get me wrong, I love cultural diversity. I love learning about other cultures and traditions, but I feel a personal draw to my own cultural past and I think its very important we all understand who we are and were we come from. And that is why I wear a kilt.

why kilts?

So this morning I noted that even in Northern California one can get the odd look or two walking around in a Kilt. Of course part of it could be the loud pattern of the MacLeod of Lewis tartan I was wearing ;-)

This year at the Highland Games in Pleasanton, CA I got my third Kilt (ok, my 4th, but the first one I got when i was 18 no longer fits and isn't even a tartan belonging to any of the clans I'm descended from so I wont be wearing it again) anyway were was I? oh yes three kilts. so now that I have three (and they aren't cheep mind you) I decided its such a shame to have something and only wear it once or twice a year so I thought since I'm on this path for connecting to my heritage why not wear them during the week? obviously not every day....yet. and of course I still have to wear slacks to work (maybe a call to HR is in my future? lol or not) but yeah? why not? of course now I think I need a bigger sporran the one i have can hold more then my wallet, cell and keys, and that's with an empty wallet. 

If your thinking of doing the same, I have some insight to share. (for you brave men who have already taken the plunge keep reading you can laugh at me as you do)

first yes you will get some strange looks. the occasional kid will point at you and whisper to their parents. beyond that you will get the "im not looking at you look" which consists of adverting the eyes, with a possible smirk (that is struggling at being hidden) and an expression that loudly screams "don't look don't look don't look" you will also get some smiles (its amazing how many women (and men too) like the look of a man in a kilt) so its not all bad. 

next get ready for the questions like "why are you wearing a skirt" yes some people are really that ignorant. and the ever popular "what are you wearing under your kilt?" some snarky comebacks are always good. try "shoes" , "lipstick" or "talcum powder" of course my faves are "nothing is warn under my kilt, its all in working order" or  "I don't discuss such things with people like you" given time I'm sure you will find some good lines of your own.

Also remember whenever you don a kilt you have become an ambassador for Scottish and Celtic People everywhere (whether or not you really want to be) so be prepared to have lots of questions thrown your way. It might be a good idea to brush up on your history, current events and trivia about Scotland (Ireland, England and Wales while your at it. its amazing what people don't know but think you should) but mostly learn as much as you can about the clan who you are representing with the tartan you choose.

on that note. be careful what tartans you choose if any. I would say stay with the ones belonging to the clan(s) of your bloodline or one you have been adopted into. most Clansmen get quite offended if you are wearing their tartan without "right" as they see it. of course there are some "generic" tartans such as the Blackwatch, and most Stewart's are fine with you wearing the Royal Stewart tartan as it shows loyalty to the crown more then anything. and there are modern tartans for different company's and regions around the world (many countries, states and provinces have their own tartans these days) and if you work for that company or live or come from a particular area you should look into those as well. 

Lets not forget the Utilikilt and Explorer Kilts (among others) in this modern age kilts for the working man can be found in many places (think kilt/cargo shorts hybrid).

check them out at utilikilts.com/store/thekiltedviking and if you would be so kind use my reference code 113285. 

also for information on what clan if any you may belong to check out http://scotclans.com/

and for buying a traditional tartan kilt i would recommend W M Glen and Sons in San Francisco or online at www.wmglen.com I bought my first "real" kilt from them and have been happy with it for years.

But yes wear your kilt with pride, I do. why should we have fear or shame in wearing something that is a symbol of national and cultural pride to so many men who are proud to be called Scottish?

introductions please

So I am staring this at the request of a good friend who lives far away and wants to keep up on my new adventures. Also, I thought, maybe others would be interested in the wild ramblings of a mad Scott ;-)
I can be a bit spastic at times so please don't mind me if i meander around quite often. Mostly this Blog will be about my exploration of the pre-christian spiritual concepts of the Celtic and Nordic peoples. there will also be quite a few posts about my personal life as I try and explore this new path. of course not everything I do will be spirit based, in fact most of it will be about modern reconstruction of old customs (and connecting with customs still alive but left behind when my ancestors moved to the new world). I am of Scottish, Irish, Welsh, Danish, German, and Swiss decent. (and a bit more tossed in but these are the ones I will be focusing on in my explorations)

I spent many years working in the book industry so I will also toss out the occasional book recommendation from time to time. But this has also built up quite the odd collection of cookbooks and craft books I have been digging through for new ideas. so along with my spiritual pursuits you will be invited into my kitchen (for good or ill) my craft room (as i attempt to learn old crafts and make traditional garb) and to come along with me as I attend various Highland Games, Renaissance Faires, and other festivals.

So pick up your feet, grab a bottle of mead and get ready to explore the messed up world that is me.